Hot Flashes & High Heels 🇺
A Perimenopause Survival Guide
Because nobody warned her that the boardroom and the body would both go haywire at the same time
There she is. Boardroom. Important client presentation. Slides immaculate. Blazer power-red. And her brain decides, at that precise moment, to go completely on strike. 🤯
She forgets the word quarterly. A word she has said approximately 4,000 times in her career. Instead, she stands there and says, “…the every–three–months report.” And smiles like she meant it.
Welcome, darling, to perimenopause — the phase of life where hormones throw a farewell party without sending invitations, the body starts running its own agenda, and society still expects perfect eyeliner and gracious responses to other people's reproductive opinions. Fabulous. Truly.
🌋 The Hot Flash Chronicles
Our mothers called it “the change.” They said it in a whisper, like confessing something shameful. Aunties described it as “feeling a little warm sometimes.” A little warm. AUNTY. She is generating enough heat to warm a dal tadka without a gas stove.
At 3 PM in an air–conditioned office, her internal furnace switches on and she goes from composed senior manager to a woman conducting a personal summer in December. Colleagues see her reach for the dupatta–fan combo and know: do not schedule a meeting in the next seven minutes.
And yet. Nobody talks about this. Because in Indian corporate culture, a woman is either young–and–capable, or she is invisible. There is no script for “thriving at 44 while also experiencing vasomotor episodes.”
🌞 Brain Fog: When the Mind Goes on Sabbatical
She built a career on being sharp. Remembered meeting notes without writing them. Could cite data from a report read six months ago. She was known for it.
Now she walks into the kitchen and stands there like a philosophical question mark. Why am I here? What is the purpose of existence? Also, did I turn off the iron?
Three to–do lists exist because the first two keep going missing. The phone's Notes app fills up with reminders like “REMEMBER THE THING FOR THE MEETING — you know the one.” (Nobody ever knows which one.)
The good news? Many women navigating this have started being refreshingly honest in meetings. “I had a thought and it has temporarily left. Give me a moment.” And you know what? People respect it. Apparently women confidently saying “I need a second” is now considered executive presence. Finally, a trend worth getting behind. 😊
💕 The Sleep Situation (Or: 3 AM Existentialism)
Sleep comes. Then she wakes up at 3:17 AM for absolutely no reason. Then too warm. Then too cold. Then replaying a mildly awkward thing said in 2009. Then mentally solving work problems. Then wondering if the car is locked. Then the 6 AM alarm rings and it feels like being gently run over by a very polite bus.
🌹 Society's Unsolicited Commentary (Bless Their Hearts)
Ah, the beloved Indian social circle. The one that has been worried about her uterus since age 27 and is now pivoting its energy toward her general wellbeing in very specific, invasive ways.
“You look tired. Are you getting enough sleep?” No, Mami. She is not.
“You should reduce your work stress.” Thank you for that revolutionary thought.
“At this age my mother was already a nani.” Congratulations to her. This woman is at a different chapter of the same story and it is equally valid.
The glorious irony is that she is simultaneously being told she looks tired AND that she is “too ambitious” AND that she should “slow down” — while managing teams, making decisions, and handling what her body is going through. She is, by any reasonable measure, absolutely extraordinary.
💎 For the Unapologetically Single, Wonderfully Childfree Woman
This one is just for her. 💗
While everyone around her was building families, she was building something else: herself. Her career, her freedom, her apartment with no one else's opinions about where the bookshelf goes. She made a choice — or perhaps a series of choices — and she does not regret it. Not secretly. Not deep down. Actually not at all.
Perimenopause hits differently when a woman is single and childfree, because society doubles down. “Now you will be alone with no one to take care of you.” But she has built friendships, networks, and a self–sufficiency that most people never thought to develop because they assumed someone else would handle it.
She is not the cautionary tale. She is the protagonist of a story still being written, on her own terms. Her worth is not a function of who she partnered with or whether she reproduced. Her legacy is everything she built, everyone she helped, and every younger woman watching her and quietly thinking: oh, that is allowed? I can be that?
Yes, she can. Because of women like her. 💖
🌿 But Also: This Phase is Weirdly Empowering
Here is the thing nobody tells you. Something shifts during perimenopause that goes beyond the physical. A strange, quiet confidence begins to settle in. She cares less about what the room thinks. She gets better at saying no. She stops performing “easy” for other people's comfort.
She realises her body has been working hard her entire life and perhaps it deserves gratitude, not criticism. She starts eating better, not because someone told her to, but because she is genuinely on her own team now. She sleeps without guilt. She takes walks because movement feels good, not to be smaller.
Perimenopause is not the body betraying her. It is the body beginning its next chapter. Noisy, inconvenient, occasionally hilarious, deeply human — and entirely hers.
© Shweta Iyer • All rights reserved • Reproducing or copying this content without permission is not permitted.
Written with warmth for every woman navigating this quietly. She is seen. 💕
